I was on my way to a queer group masturbation workshop where I was going to be in front of strangers for approximately two hours. If the world was ending anytime soon, at least I was leaving with a bang. Multiple bangs if I was lucky.The leader of the workshop is the androgynous spiritual leader of the Oikos Intentional Community, (above) Dasa William Griffith. Talking to the Dasa, it’s impossible to believe he’s married to a hottie like Alysyn. His smooth, soft body and shaved head and eyebrows make him look like a queer oracle.Originally an erotic artist, Griffith changed focus when he discovered new monasticism and started a spiritual sexual revolution. What he said next confused me.He explained, “Orgasms have been very important to your life. I’ve always really depended on them. In a bad mood? Masturbate. Confused? Masturbate. Working on a painting and I’m stuck? Go lay down on the couch and masturbate to orgasm. Not today. Today is about denying your orgasm, retaining your semen. Here I was a small town girl shacking up with a hired gun, it seemed like something out of a movie or a badly scripted soap opera. Soon, that wasn’t enough. I asked Jonathan to teach me. He did. He taught me how to shoot a gun, how to wield a knife, how to fight, how to tolerate and inflict pain, and most importantly how to keep it all separate so that it wouldn’t affect me. By the end of that first year, Jonathan and I were no longer lovers, we had moved beyond that. He was my friend, my mentor, my teacher. I was an eager student. There was something inside me that wanted to be able to snuff out a life and still remain detached, aloof, and cold. A year after having picked me up from the side of the road, Jonathan gave me my first assignment. Her name was Molly Richards, she was thirty-two, had a two year old daughter, and a six year marriage. She worked at a law office as a clerk. The all-American girl with nothing more serious than a parking fine to her name had been unfortunate.
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